Case #009 Field Report:

introduction

Hi everyone! I’m really happy to be here writing this newsletter right now. This is a more personal post than I’ve made in a while, but the summer heat lowers my inhibitions. Just know that before it gets funny, it’ll be a bit emotional.

The world is hard. C-PTSD symptoms are also kicking my ass, but I’m still out here saying Happy Disability Pride Month! My disabilities are invisible, but I want to tip my hat to people with visible, invisible, and both forms of disabilities. Your existence makes the world a better place.

We all deserve accommodations and respect without having to beg for it, but when it comes to disability, that’s frequently not the case. Disability activists have given everything, including their lives, to the fight (through lobbying for ADA, protests in the streets, and more) for a world in which we all deserve to live. I am grateful to their work for making life better for me and my loved ones.1

case documents

cw: mentions of family trauma

I’ve been reading Model Home by Rivers Solomon, and the prose both captivates me and strikes a chord personally. Solomon’s work has been on my TBR for years, and I’m finally committing to their most recent book. The home in literature is about the self, and Solomon follows gothic writers like Shirley Jackson in carefully using metaphor to discuss inner turmoil and complicated family dynamics.

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Case #008 Field Report:

It’s Thursday, and it’s balmy where I live. We’ve been under an excessive heat warning for the last week, so I’ve spent a lot of time indoors. Thoughts bounce rapidly through my brain, and I’m using this energy to make art. I wanted to share some of that art with you now before sharing updates to my other platforms.

I’ve shared some progress before on my quilted-style I Want To Believe poster fanart. I finally sat down and mostly finished it!

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Case #007 Field Report:

cw: mentions of abuse and disordered eating

At the beginning of June, I went to Kesha’s Kansas City concert. It was expectedly magical. Queers of all ages danced in the dystopian but admittedly comfortable Live Nation venue. Spaceships are a theme queer artist Kesha carries through her work. She is known for her rave style music, but UFOs also carry a political, spiritual meaning for Kesha.

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I cried for a good portion of today, and everything is okay. Tragically, though, it has left me feeling guilty. Guilt perpetually courses through my blood, and it’s always hungry.

I’ve invited vampires into my life again. I finished Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil by V.E. Schwab after putting it down for at least a month. I haven’t read a novel that’s broken my heart so frequently in a long time. Each character sparkles, sizzles, and fizzles out, but vampires don’t live by the rules of an average human life. They can live centuries in the night as long as they avoid graveyard soil.

Schwab describes the characters’ hunger as bottomless. Blood only fills the void for mere minutes before the ache reappears. Charlotte, known as Lottie, Alice, and Sabine handle these hungers differently, with the latter finding power in the hunt. Charlotte and Alice refuse to trade their remaining humanity for the endless hedonism of draining innocents’ blood.

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xf quote of the day:

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et are both calling to me.

Before diving in to this newsletter, let’s start with a piece of:

housekeeping

I’ve officially opened my chat threads to all subscribers. I try my best to pivot as the tide turns, and I hope that adding more people to my chat threads will create more of a comfortable place for chatting. I also realized I’ve never done an introductions thread on there, so I started one. I’d love to meet you virtually <3

meme-thology arc

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I’ve been having a strange couple of weeks, but I doubt it’s been that different from the life you’re living. It’s probably been easier than some of you and harder than some others. I handle strange times with The X-Files’ “Field Trip” (season 6, episode 21).

I call “Field Trip” the original Inception (2010) because it blends the dream world into the conscious one. Mulder and Scully explore the unexplained death of two hikers on Brown Mountain, leading to a warped reality that is uncannily familiar. In the light of day, patterns have a way of repeating themselves. Some scientists claim up to 95% of our thoughts are ones we’ve had before.1

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Welcome to my second installment of the new, revamped x-tra files. Before we start, I have a bit of…

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I’m listening to Kacey Musgraves’ Golden Hour album as I write this. I rewatched “Detour” (season 5, episode 4) last night, but I mainly used it as background noise. My brain hums with activity lately, and I think it’s been making it harder for me to sleep, which only increases the ADHD buzz. A cycle that repeats without transformation, the anti-ouroboros.

I took a short trip to Denver over the weekend, which was about an 8 hour drive from my home. I spent a lot of time in my partner and I’s shared car since Denver is a car city. Sprawl is a stark contrast to the bed and breakfast we stayed in, which included warm conversation each morning with people from all over the country. What is now a connective experience is one I would have hated a few years ago.

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[EDIT: republishing to hopefully send out to emails this time]

I’m an anxious person, but I’m feeling especially antsy writing this update. Everything that follows will only be of benefit to me and some of you, and yet? I’ve been avoiding making changes. One day I hope to stop asking myself if I’m allowed to make changes. Onto the news:

I’ll start with info for free subscribers on my posting schedule changes.

I will still post free content, but I will only be sharing a full essay once a month. Interview With An X-Phile will continue to show up in your inbox weekly

Now, onto paid content changes.

I’m reintroducing and revamping (vampire pun fully intended) my paid content under its initial title: the x-tra files. How and when I post, however, is shifting. I’m an air sign that requires a slightly slack tether to a schedule to be consistent, something the overly ambitious and fully unemployed past me lacked. I have to be more realistic with my time and capacity.

I’ve previously shared my paid content with not just Substack, but also Patreon. This was for a couple of reasons:

1. 1. Patreon allows tiers for pricing as low as $1 while Substack only allows one paid option that must start at at least $5/mo

2. 2. I wasn’t sure how substack might be received for those uninterested in my writing who still wanted exclusive memes or art since substack is mostly a text-based platform

As far as my second reason, I’ve stopped getting in my own way of what I want. While I’m sad to be leaving patreon, I know I can show up more fully to this platform and put out better content. I really hope some of those patrons join me over here and can continue to enjoy my work.

The first reason I solved with the help of Margeaux Feldman ’s content. I saw they offered permanent discount options on paid subscriptions to increase access, and I decided to take a similar approach. You can click for 50% off or 75% off the cost of a paid subscription forever, no questions asked.

here’s what you’ll get as a paid subscriber:

Two times a month, I’ll share an extra newsletter with a couple of exclusive memes, updates, and more writing content (I’m still experimenting with the kind of content). I may also share playlists and illustrations or phone wallpapers, but those will be more occasional.

A second bonus for paid subscribers will be access to my chat on here. I currently plan to check in once a week with threads on topics around fandom, general check-ins, and pop culture/sci-fi. Subscribers can also start their own threads to further discuss any topics of interest. It’s an area of this platform I’m excited to explore further to build more of a connected space with fewer people.1

I’m excited about the potential I have with more focused attention on this platform. I will start my new and hopefully improved x-tra files next week, and I want you to be a part of it. If you sign up for a paid subscription anytime from today until March 1st, you’ll get 14 days free to get a feel for the space.

I’ll be doing my best to create an enjoyable experience, so things may change as I get my bearings. If you have any thoughts, feelings, comments, questions, or concerns, feel free to share them below or message me directly. This space can’t exist without you, and I’m grateful for all your feedback.

I hope to see you deep in the files.

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Share sculder and mully

Hi everyone. I apologize for my absence on paid posting here. I’ve been juggling my new job with my creative pursuits. I’m refining my posting schedule to be more realistic with my time and more consistent. I promise I’ll update on that soon.

The following is the unfolding of a Halloween postcard illustration idea that shifted to a gothic Christmas vibe as I began working on it.

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I’m having fun sharing exclusive memes in a more of a “drop” format. the two scully memes match my experience of life recently, while the mulder one was just so mulder.

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i made a few memes that i’m ready to share for your monday viewing. i’m proud of how they turned out:

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If you thought I forgot about you, don't be mistaken: I've actually been thinking of you fondly. My executive dysfunction has been high, but I'm back to the beautiful task of meme-making. The text of the meme below is from a tiktok screenshot shared by @ameliesarchivee on instagram.

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this one is inspired by my dislike of the fourth of july and also content from the very funny @dopamemequeen, who i follow on instagram.

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It’s the end of June, which means it’s the end of the second quarter of the year. As promised, I share an extra art piece, such as a phone wallpaper or illustration, each quarter. I hope you enjoy the wallpaper below, which I’ll share as a jpg and png. I used public domain images to collage an endpaper pattern with a comet book page and some nautical elements behind mulder and scully.

Share sculder and mully

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tonight is the night! if you’re free at 8pm cdt tonight, join me in watching the x-files on discord here. excited to hang :)

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hey everyone! i'm super late on the invite, but i'm doing a watch party on the last friday of this month, june 27th, at 8pm CDT.

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happy first friday of pride month! i made this meme because i can imagine either of them saying this in response to some exciting pics…

Share sculder and mully

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I apologize for the delay in meme-ing. After some busy time in an anxiety outpatient intensive, I'm excited to get back into this work full force. This meme is simply a celebration of the strangeness of Scully.

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